A Poet's Story
by Kerri Lyn Kumasaka
For the poet
within every one of us
Written in a style similar to the traditional
Japanese literary form of haibun, A Poet’s Story combines poetry
and prose. The book is a poetic memoir which contains poems and stories
around the poems. It is the author’s attempt to share her love of
poetry with others and to encourage and inspire them to express their
own poetry.
As the author writes in the “Dear Reader” part of
A Poet’s Story: I believe that everyone is a poet and that
everyone has poetry stirring around inside of them. It is to this poet
within you that I tell my story. I hope this book will encourage and
inspire you to acknowledge, affirm and develop your own poet self.
This is a plea for you to write and live your poems
whether it is by capturing them on paper, growing them in your garden,
painting them on canvas or in the way you love and care for your
children. Please, World, write your poems.
Excerpts
from A Poet’s Story
The book is divided into four
sections:
Creativity, On Pain and Growth,
Love and Love and Love, and Yes!
Here are excerpts from each of the sections...
Creativity
When the Muse Calls
When the
Muse calls, you’d
better go,
you’d better listen. You’d
better
clear away your life and follow
her. Though you may be
filled
with terror, doubt and
grief,
you’d better go. You’d
better.
For she
will take you by
the hand
and lead you
skipping
into worlds like you
have never
seen. Into dimensions
you have
never tasted. Sweeter
than
cotton candy, more putrid than
a skunk’s
protective odor. She’ll
cradle you
in her arms and sing
you
lullabies of truth. Then she’ll
fling you
in the
ocean.
She will
take you through
the mud
and sand and
sludge of
swamps and fields
and
deserts. Then she’ll
bathe you
in translucent
lakes and
lazy rivers.
You may
shake your fist at
the sky. Your tears may fall
down into
the soil. You may
ask, “Why,
why, why?” But close
your eyes
and go with her. Close your
eyes and
follow. And one day you
will
realize that she has simply
taken you
on a journey
to
yourself.
***
This poem
was published in a program for the Montana Artist's Refuge in Basin,
Montana. Every year, the Refuge has a jazz brunch as a fundraiser and
one year my friend, Nan, asked if they could put one of my poems in the
program since the theme of the brunch was "The Word."
I was out of
town when they had the brunch. And when I returned, another friend,
Carolyn, came up to me and said she had seen my poem in the program and
that it totally changed her life. She said she had pinned it up on her
bathroom wall and was reading it every day. She had quit her job at the
gold mine where she worked as an assayer and decided she would do
massage (her passion) full time.
"Oh, no," I
thought to myself, "she was making good money at that mine and what
happens if this massage thing doesn't work out?" I started to feel
responsible for her decision. I told her how I was feeling, and we joked
about how I might have to put a disclaimer with the poem saying I was
not responsible for people choosing to leave their jobs to follow their
creativity. When I see Carolyn, I often ask her, a bit anxiously, how
her massage practice is going.
On Pain and
Growth
My maternal grandmother, Amy Matsuoka, died over 15
years ago. I loved her and was very close to her. A few years ago, I
still had a lot of pain in my heart about her death. One day, I was
coming out of the sweat lodge and George who was leading the sweat said,
“You see that moon? That is your grandmother.”
After the Sweat
After the
sweat one night
You told
me that the moon
was my
grandmother.
What a
gift this was for me.
For we had
buried her almost
ten years
ago and my heart
still hurt
whenever anyone
said her
name.
I had a
dream once that I
saw her at
a dinner
at our
church. My heart
leapt to
see her again.
I was
hugging her and holding
her hand.
Yet when it came to sitting
down we
couldn’t sit at the same
table
since I was of the
living and
she, the other side.
I was
crying in my sleep and
in my
dream. My wet pillow
beneath my
cheek.
And now
most
nights I
only need to sit
under the
night sky to talk
with her
and be
with her.
My grandmother, who is
the moon.
Love and
Love and Love
Once when I was around five years old, I heard
Grandma Kumasaka say to my dad that she didn’t want to babysit us kids.
I was hurt and angry, and I hated her for a long time. After I went to
Japan, I was better able to communicate with her and made peace with her
on some level. By the time she died, I felt a lot of love for her and
enjoyed listening to her stories. Toward the end of her life, her
memory was not so good and she would repeat herself. The way she talked
was a poem. My cousin, Janet, had shared with me about a Malaysian form
of poetry called pantoums where certain lines in one stanza are repeated
in the following stanza in a prestcribed order. For me, the way Grandma
talked was like a pantoum.
Looking at the Iris
(A
pantoum)
We sit
there looking at the iris.
What is it that called? I ask her in Japanese.
That purple flower there is ayame.
I am 94 years old. I have no friends, she says.
What is
that called? I ask her in Japanese.
Taikutsu, boring. I do the same things every day.
I am 94 years old. I have no friends, she says.
They have all died and I'm not much of a talker.
Taikutsu, boring. I do the same things every day.
Watch TV, read, I don't garden anymore.
They have all died and I'm not much of a talker.
Hard to make new friends when you're 94.
Watch TV,
read, I don't garden anymore.
I used to grow flowers: bara, kiku, ayame.*
Hard to make new friends when you're 94.
Especially when you're shy like me.
I used to
grow flowers: bara, kiku, ayame.
That purple flower there is ayame.
Especially when you're shy like me.
We sit there looking at the iris.
*roses,
chrysanthemum, iris
Yes
While Mending A Sock
So much of what we say
is unnecessary. Smooth and creamy
silence evades us as we
chatter on to fill
the waves. He said
goodbye long before the
words ever left his mouth. And
this sock does not say, "I'm
sorry I am falling apart."
We sit and walk in stillness,
yet all is understood. The
purple green grasses grow
wordlessly. the rocks and
mountains are without
a speech. And language is so
inadequate to describe the
fourth dimension within.
If I could, I would live
my life by one word
only: Yes!
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